Wednesday, January 20, 2010
I have been praying a lot for our family as we prepare to adjust to our new arrivals. I have been praying that we all connect and bond and attach, I am sure every adoptive family prays for the same thing. We have also talked a lot about how our family will feel very different when the boys come home. I want the girls to be prepared for this the best that they can be, so we talk about it honestly.
One night we spent some time discussing how adoption is full of gains and losses. If you have done your homework and taken the classes and read the books, this is not new to you. We all like to think about the gains, but not about the losses. But the truth is, we all will go through losses. I am pretty sure the boys will express in some way, their grief as they process through it. The may even have some trauma to deal with too.
All of that adds up to a funky family dynamic. You see, we have been functioning as a family of 4 for about ten years. It has taken some time to find our groove, but I think we have indeed found one. Kind of like an orchestra. We each have our parts, we each are different and have our own strengths, but when we work together, we sound pretty good. When we are on the same page, it can hopefully be beautiful music and we can be an enjoyment to be around.
But soon we will be adding 2 new member to the orchestra. They have never played before. They don't even understand that music is to come out of the instrument (they might think it is to bang on the ground). They won't understand how to read the notes and follow the conductor. It won't make sense to them to listen to each other and work together. We will sound like an awful squeaky warm up session. Maybe even painful to listen too.
Hopefully though, when we have been together for some time, we will sound like an orchestra. It might sound like one that is just starting out and it won't have the refinement of a group that has the luxury of working together for years. But hopefully, if we practice and are intentional we will blend. Each playing his own part, but making the others more beautiful for being together.
My desire is to follow our Heavenly Father (the conductor) and trust that He has brought miss matched groups together before and worked on them until they made beautiful music. But for some time, we may look and sound like an out of tune warm up session. And that is okay.
Dear Sweet Peas,
We have been praying that our family would blend well together. Hopeful that we can all see that God knit our family together from before the foundation of the world.
I looked at tickets today to come and meet you and bring you home. We will hopefully be there soon.